The Runner’s Mindset: 4 Things I’m Working On To Improve My Running Confidence

I stand in the pen and take one last deep breath. I can feel the nerves and pressure racing through every inch of my body. My shoulders are tight, my form feels awkward, and I just want to run in the opposite direction as fast as possible.

3, 2, 1…GO! I go off at breakneck speed, huffing and puffing, whilst frantically trying to control the demons. Halfway through, I’m walking. Then at the finish line, I’m crying, disappointed that everyone else is celebrating, and once again, I feel empty.

Sound familiar? If it does, then I really feel for you. Because for the last two years, this has been my reality. Not at every race distance, I might add, but certainly in the 5k, some 10ks, and any race where there’s any level of self-imposed pressure. If you want to see it in action, check out my Durham 10k race from 2024…it isn’t a fun watch.

Running is my hobby, and it brings me so much joy, but in those stressful race moments, I completely forget that. It would be really easy for me not to race; to run socially or spend my life on the trails. But for all of my public moments of weakness, I’ve never been one for taking the easy way out.

In the last few months, I just decided enough is enough. I train really hard; I never miss a session, and I love to run. I deserve to conquer these demons.

So, here’s my plan of action…

Shift the mindset
Prepare meticulously
Don’t sweat the small stuff
Run with my heart

It’s a work in progress, and there will be setbacks. But if I want to achieve success, all I can do is try. And if you’re like me, my one hope is that reading this might help you too.

Shift the mindset

This has been the hardest part, and I agree with you; it’s easier said than done. But this is the part that, for me personally, is the work in progress.

I started with reading. ‘Do Hard Things’ by Steve Magness, ‘Go One More’ by Nick Bare and more recently, ‘The Brave Athlete’ by Simon Marshall and Lesley Paterson; they all deal with mindset, retraining and recalibrating your brain to think differently on race day.

‘The Brave Athlete’ in particular references the famous book ‘The Chimp Paradox’ by Steve Peters, which deals with mind management and controlling anxiety. I’m not a scientist, but your inner Chimp is the part of your brain which delivers the intrusive thoughts when you’re racing…basically the inner demons that make you want to quit.

The Brave Athlete teaches you that telling that part of your brain to shut up only angers it more and that the best way to face and control your race demons is to nurture your chimp. I’ve been working on convincing mine that in the dark times, together we can take control of the situation.

I started by giving him a name, Charlie. By naming him, he became instantly more adorable and less aggressive (I promise I’m not insane). In my experience, Charlie rears his ugly head when my heart rate spikes early in a race, usually when I’ve gone off too fast. In training, when sessions start to become difficult, internally I chat to Charlie with positive affirmations like ‘Okay Charlie, this is about to get difficult, but we’ve got this.’

Charlie and I are starting to work in tandem. Now and then he kicks off, but most of the time, he behaves himself. Now I’m working on translating that to race day, which brings me nicely to point two…

Prepare meticulously

I am a creature of habit, so preparation isn’t difficult for me. I like to be organised and in control. But I also have a very busy job, which can negatively impact my race preparation, particularly if I have an evening race.

So, how do I prepare for a race?

I control the controllables. Two evenings before, I prepare my entire race kit. I pack a bag with spare clothes for afterwards, I organise my nutrition, and I lay out everything I need to wear, so when I get home from work, I can have a really quick turnaround.

There’s nothing I find more stressful than getting to a race late and rushing a warm-up. This helps to prevent that from happening and leaves me more in control of my destiny.

It doesn’t always go my way though, so I’m practising point three…

Don’t sweat the small stuff

This is a difficult ask of anyone who spends far too much time in their own head. But it can be a real game-changer.

I’m someone who overanalyses every last detail of a race, so that even if it’s gone quite well, I can still focus on a negative that can flatten my mindset. But recently, I had my first DNF…

I did everything I described in point two at a recent race, but when I set off to get there, I got stuck in traffic. There’d been a car accident, which saw me arrive to collect my number fifteen minutes before it was due to start. My pre-race anxiety was through the roof.

I didn’t have time to warm up, and it was an unseasonably warm night. I opted to do a few quick strides, as that was all the time allowed, and I stood on the start line hopeful I could just ease into the 5k.

At 1.5 miles (roughly 3k), I walked off the course. Lots of lovely people tried to egg me on to get back into the race. But for the first time, I knew in that moment that it wasn’t my night and I was really happy with that decision.

You see, my mindset was in such a good place up until that evening that I didn’t want to set it back by pushing hard and achieving a result that would make me unhappy, all because I wasn’t able to implement my usual race routine.

Kayleigh from two years ago would have interpreted that as a failure. This Kayleigh understood that it was the right decision. It wasn’t a usual ‘head’s gone’ moment; I can recognise those a mile off. It was more of a ‘I’m just not in this tonight; I’m tired, hot and stressed, and I’m already pushing very hard. I’m happy with the training effort; let’s just step aside.’

I consulted Charlie; he was happy, too. He let me walk away with my head held high, focused on the next attempt in a much happier headspace.

Run with my heart

I guess this is the conclusion of the above three points. When you love something as much as I love running, you have to control your head to run with your heart.

In the last six weeks especially, I’ve tried really hard to focus on what I can control so I can be more relaxed in the race and run with my heart.

At the Blaydon race, I paced my friend and achieved an unexpected PB. At Redcar 5-miler, I focused on effort and chatted to Charlie when it got tough; I achieved a 5-mile PB.

Then, at Durham 10k, I decided to go back, when I swore I never would, to run with my heart and put those demons to bed.

You can see in our new Durham 10k video that I’m a different person from where I was two years ago; but the point of this blog is to highlight that these things take time, despite what social media might have you believe.

In the last two years, I’ve trained hard. I’ve barely missed a session, and I’ve added in weekly strength and conditioning sessions. I’ve got a very supportive coach in Louise Small, who allows me to talk through the difficult stuff, listening and helping me rebuild on the days when it doesn’t go to plan. It’s not pretty or exciting shiny stuff for Instagram; it’s real-life, showing up for yourself every day, habit-stacking, silent and patient work.

But most importantly, and the bit I’m most proud of, is that I keep trying. I think that’s all anyone can do.

I can only speak from my experience, but if you ever have a day with doubts, please remember that everyone gets them, and the best thing you can do for yourself is just keep trying.

I’m not the finished project, but I’m in a better place than I was two years ago, and that feels like progress.

If everything feels tough right now, I hope these words encourage you and remind you that you’re not alone and that if I can do it, you definitely can too.

See you on the start line soon, and keep on running,

Your friend,

Kayleigh